Tooth!

When David-Michael turned 3 months old, we were expecting a tooth. He started the constant drooling. He was fussy. He was biting on EVERYTHING.

At 4 months, no tooth had appeared, and his doctor told us that now that we were starting solids and tooth should still appear. A bunch of what had occurred previously had lessened off.

At 5.5 months, we were starting to see signs that a tooth might actually be breaking through as a white line appeared on his lower gums and his upper canines had started to bulge and turned white.

Nothing happened. At 6 months I noticed about five little 'dots' on his gumline. This also seemed to indicate that teeth were coming.

Now at almost 7 months I can say that David-Michael has a tooth. It is very tiny and just a little bit of white is showing. The bump is lower then the rest of the bumps in his mouth. It is hard. It is not a front tooth, but the tooth in between the canines and the front teeth on his right side.

From David-Michael

The picture is terrible quality as it was taken on my cell phone while the baby was trying to close his mouth and grab the phone.

So Yay! Toofer!

Family Reuion Update

The reunion went well. The baby did better then expected. He had a melt down an hour outside of where we were going, so despite a 45 minute stop, we just booked it. He also had a melt down in a restaurant that ended with James and I swapping walkign with him and eating.

The way back was a breeze, but we didn't leave until 4pm and didn't make it home till 2:30am. Baby slept except for when we stopped for dinner (at 6:30) and when we stopped to change drivers (at 11:30).

Everyone got along this year as well. And everyone loved the baby!

I expect to go to a funeral in a year as well. It will probably be my 91 year old grandmothers, but there is a chance it will be Libbi's. She isn't doing well, is delusional and is, apparently, a mean drunk who doesn't know when to quit.

On other news, John found a job so now we are scrambling to figure out baby sitting. Odds are that James is going to quit cause no place around here does Child Care at night or on weekends.

The baby is teething hard. Screaming fits almost every night. There was a giant red dot in his mouth yesterday so hopefully these teeth are coming through. He is still a rolly-polly little thing.

Family Issues and Reunions

This week we go to a Family Reunion in Springfield, Missouri. We have done this almost every year since I was a baby. Bringing DM is really the reunion coming full circle. In fact he'll get to meet his Great-Grandmother. She won't remember him, but I plan to shoot a picture of the moment.

The rumor behind the reunion is that I was the catalyst. I was either just born or still in my mom's womb when my mom and Grammy (my dad's mom) got in a spat. This was a common theme. Regardless, Grammy realized she wouldn't get to see me so invited the whole family to her place for July 4th. Thus until last year, it was July 4th.

Last year the decision was made to move it due to work, and this year as well (though this year was more contentious and odds that it'll be back on the 4th next year). I am very worried about the trip. But first, lets understand the players:

The Uncles - My Uncles Harold and Stuart., my father's brothers. Harold is older, Stuart is younger.

Kara - My little sister, 4 year younger then me. She spent time with the baby in Washington Island and he seemed pretty okay with her.

Ariel - 4 months younger then me. My favorite cousin. She can't make it this year.

Peri - 3.5 years younger then me. The youngest of the 'older' cousin set. Married to Siece.

Mariah - 4 years younger then me, six weeks older then Kara. I like Mari and we've found more and more in common as of late. Has a long term boyfriend named Eric.

Libbi- 6 years younger and almost exactly 2 years younger then Mari. Libbi is a train wreck. She was pregnant a few years ago, but got an abortion. Currently engaged to a man at least my age if not older. She is worth a whole post herself. She is also, besides James, the only one still in school.

Brittany - Brit is 6 months younger then Libbi. She lived with us for a while but had to go back to Kansas due to personal issues. She is really good with the baby. She is a bit train wrecky but has been trying to improve her life. Brit is also the only second cousin that is worth mentioning.

Siece - Now to the bulk of the introductions. Siece is Peri's wife. Siece and Peri live in our Grammy's house. Siece is OCD and she has NEVER gotten alone with James. James likes pranks and Siece takes everything personally. James also likes to brag and decided to brag that we had sex in one of the shower (much to my shock, I'm close to my cousins but that was crossing a line). Siece freaked out, even when we (lying) told her it was a joke. Interestingly enough Mari doesn't get along with her either.

Anyway, I've only skipped out two or three years. Once was because of summer school. Once was the Wedding. See, I LOVE Peri. Siece I'm less sold on, but Peri loves Siece therefore I tried to make a show. But I found myself getting very paranoid and jelious.

When I got married to James, I asked two people from my family to be in my wedding: My sister and Ari. Ideally I would have asked all of them to stand up there, but I didn't and I didn't want to get into a 'why was X chosen and not me' situation. I chose Ari because I was, and still am, the closest with her.

But with Peri, everyone except for me and Mari were in the Wedding Party. Libbi (which, duh), Kara, Ari. Brit wasn't either, but for many a reason that was less of an issue. In addition, they made it on a terrible weekend.

When I was planning our wedding, I chose a weekend that was near enough to the reunion (which we skipped that year) so that people could easily go from Chicago to Springfield and make it there on the 4th. It was about a week beforehand.

They planned theirs for the weekend AFTER. The 4th was in the middle of the week and they chose a day that a LOT of people were trying to get married on. Personally it was a bad time. I had no job and it's always a lot of money. James was working but had been in the position for less then a year. Therefore we skipped. Mari skipped the wedding. She said she felt 'uncomfortable'.

Now I'm worried that Siece and I are about to butt heads again.

Last year, I was four and a half months pregnant. Just pregnant enough to be uncomfortable. Plus I was still suffering from bad heartburn (which didn't go away till delivery) and bad morning sickness. I was kind of limited on what I could eat, since a dozen different foods made me throw up, plus if I got too hungry I threw up (which seemed backwards and unfair to me).

Siece said she made plans but never actually double checked anything. After finding that the place she swore was open wasn't, it took 40 minutes to find another place. The place? Mexican Food which was off limits for me (which was sad cause I love it) as both previous times I had tried Mexican, including Taco Bell (which isn't) it came back up. I voiced my objection and was quickly ignored because 'well they can seat all of us, and we are hot and hungry.'

James and I went to Panara. I wound up getting a little sick from the sheer amount of time it took. After eating, we went to meet up with the group. We found out that the next planned activity wasn't going to occur until 4 (again, Siece had promised it would be open and it wasn't). The new activity was WINDOW SHOPPING and maybe Thrift store shopping. Right. Exactaly what the hot pregnant woman and her husband wanted to do! We went, with Brit, to see Hellboy 2.

When we arrived, at 4, just some other cousins (Rob and Nancy) were there. Not the people we went to hang out with. So we played a bunch of games, and were getting ready to leave when everyone showed up. By that point I decided a nap would be good and we went back to the house. We were told "Chedders at 7 for dinner!"

That sounded like a reservation to me, and we left the house only to get half way there and be told that no, we were going to Red Robin (which is very close to Chedders) because Chedders couldn't seat 14 people quickly. Um no. Most places can't. That's why you call ahead.

The rest of teh weekend didn't improve.

So I've decided that when I get down there, reservations are getting made because I'm not playing the 'wait 2 hours' or the 'moving around' game with a hungry infant. It seems like a bad set up. Ari was going to help me with this but found out late she couldn't come.

Siece is not going to be happy. I already can't get her to respond to emails/pms/chats/wall posts about the schedule. Anything else totally, but not that. So headbutting. But you do what you have to do with an infant.

This was a lot longer then expected.

Rolly Polly Man

David-Michael is now on the go!

Until a few days ago, it was a fight to get him on his belly. He learned how to roll from his back to his front at about 3.5 months, and his front to his back at around 4 months. Since then, we'd put him on his belly and he'd just roll over to his back (in fact, that was how we found out he could). He'd roll on to his side, and he'd get halfway on his belly before deciding to roll back to his back.

He started the butt wave and the straining to move forward, but nothing happened.

Then all of the sudden, he stopped caring that he was on his belly and started to enjoy it somewhat. Now he just rolls EVERYWHERE. I've had to rescue him three times (and James once). One time because he was trying to eat a chip, one time because he got under the futon mattress and one time because he put his head through the diaper bag strap. James because he got into the area of the entertainment center with the PS2 and the TV above him (it is suppose to have a door, and the whole thing is shaped like an H. He got into that bottom section.)

When we get back from our trip, we are going to finish the haphazard job of baby proofing (done just enough to keep Linda at bay and about have of those changes stop as soon as she leaves).

We also notice he has a preference to roll on his right side. Not that he won't roll on his left, just that he prefers the right. Strange little boy.

Doing Best For Our Kids?

A recent issue has me wondering, when you have two hard decisions, which one is the best for our kids?

Before jumping into the question at hand, I want to introduce John and Sue.

John and Sue had been together just shy of a year when Sue found out she was pregnant. For 7 1/2 months, Sue was so sick it was hard for her to get out of bed. She went on the medical card and had an uncaring doctor. After that point, she said she would have happily been pregnant for much longer. Despite having a wink-wink, nod-nod with her Deula about delivering at home, she was induced after going 9 days past her due date. She gave birth to a little girl they named Linda.

After Linda was born, Sue started to demand more of John's time. They lived together, but John was in school and working part time. She wouldn't do ANYTHING while John was gone, and complained that he was working too much.

Shortly after Linda's 7th birthday, he quit his job. Sue says that she was 'shocked' but both James and I believe that Sue pushed him (unconsciously) to it. John has not had a job since. They are living on food stamps and John's loans from school.

After Linda was born, Sue started to read alot. And she started to read about nutrition. Somewhere between the birth and when Linda turned a year old, she decided that they all needed to eat Organic. We live in an area that has been controlled by Monsanto. What organic you can find is expensive.

They have also refused to go onto TANF (the new welfare system). It has nothing to do with pride or anything that obvious. Oh no. John doesn't think it is worth his time. See, after the kid turns one, in order to get TANF you have to work X number of hours a week (20 I think). If you can't find a job TANF will employ you. Except when you figure out the math behind what you will get paid...well....it works out to about $2/hour. If I was in their shoes, I'd take it because some income is better then none (and I think it is more like 30+ hours a week that you work for TANF). But John keeps saying that it isn't worth it and he'll find something soon. It's going on seven months with him being unemployed. Sue won't get a real job. She'll volunteer at the local Co-Op (which gets them a discount) but she won't get a paying job. She just wants to stay at home.

They consistantly run out of money. John got kicked off the Food Stamps after Linda turned one because he wasn't working 20 hours a week. Sue got kicked off of WIC despite still Breastfeeding Linda. So in May, both their WIC and Food Stamps got significantly reduced. Sue has still insisted that they organic and now has started to be even more picky. More Boca, less Meat. Except Boca costs more.

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This is our family situation.

James goes to school full time and works full time. He pays for our Health Insurence. I also work very part time (between 10 and 21 hours/week). My job is driving me insane and, in all honesty, I can no longer say that if I don't get out of their soon I'm not going to hurt myself. James needs to quit as well to focus on school.

We dont' get food stamps. My meager income tips us over. We don't make ends meet, at least not if we want to eat, because we don't qualify for State Health Insurence (by $100) . We do get WIC which helps a lot. The baby qualifies for State Health Insurence, so as soon as James calls up benefits, we should start to have $200 more a month and then we can maybe make ends meet.

I want the best for my family. We all do. As such, I compromised with James. The *BIG* pesicide foods will be Organic. Anything going to the baby, with some exceptions (Squash and cereal, the latter which we generally don't feed him anyway, being the notable ones), will be organic. Nothing else will be. No major diat changes (except me trying to cook more) will be made until we have better income.

As much as I want to stay at home, I'd make a terrible stay at home parent. I've never been good at dishes and the like, and when I'm with the baby, I just want to be with the baby. I'm trying to get better at all of it.

James would like to stay home. And I think we've decided that he should quit, regardless of the job situation, in the fall. I'll have my stupid job (I'm trying to find another). We'll get Food Stamps and State Insurence. We might even qualify for TANF.

My work, however, is driving me crazy. I know they are trying to drive me out for taking my full 12 weeks of leave. I know they are trying to drive me out because I fought for my right to get my breaks long enough to pump. But it is costing me my sanity. If I quit, they win. I can't get anything in unemployment. I can't sue for FMLA violations if I quit.

And yet I do it because I think having an income and not worrying (as much) about money is MUCH better then making sure no pesticides ever come in contact with my baby. Because I understand that stablity is more important, esp at this age, then being worried about rent and electricity. I've been there on months that we haven't paid. It isn't worth it.

But I see her side to. The ability for one parent to always be home. To respond to the baby's needs as only a parent can. But I don't know if it is worth the food insecurity.

I don't think either of us are right. I don't know if there is a right. Both situations suck.

This Blog!

I guess this is the requeist introduction post.

Hi, My name is Alia but I go by either shadowkate or Red Firefox across the interwebnet. I've been blogging since the late 1990s and have been on LJ since 2002. So I have some experience at this sort of thing.

In April of 2008, we discovered that we were pregnant and in August discovered that we were pregnant with a little boy. On December 28th, 10 days shy of his due date, our little 'DM' came into the world after starting labor 24.5 hours prior. He was born sick and was in the Level 2 Nursery for a week, plus spent half that week in a billibox. I started to post about baby things to my LJ blog.

I realized that about half the people that read by LJ blog could care less about all the baby stuff, but I wanted a place to post it. Plus I wanted a place that was 'mine'. I worry about posting somethings on LJ. There are a lot of people who already think poorly of myself or my husband or the baby or any number of things that I might post on there. Isn't it sad when it feels like a Blog is no longer your 'safe space'.

So after much thought I decided to start a blog dedicated to three things:
1) The Baby. A place to post my thoughts on him, his milestones, and just what he has been up to.
2) The Family. All of our current trials and tribulations. Everything we are going through, no matter how it might turn out.
3) Other Touchy things. Things that I dont' want to post in my 'main' blog.

This means that there will be some raw emotion, some hate and anger, and I won't censor myself. Likewise, I might not apologize for it. I censor my other blog because, well, I know alot of those people. This blog is not meant for them. This blog is meant for the Internet as a nameless whole. But there will also be glee and wonder in this blog as well.

People in this blog:
*Myself
*David-Michael (also known as the Little One, Baby, DM or just David)
*My husband, James. We are dealing with some things at the moment, but that is a post in and of itself.
*Sue, John and Linda (not real names). Our good friends. Linda is 14 months old, and 8 months older then David. Sue and John are the only parents of a young baby that we know and we hang out all the time.
Last point. The name of this blog.

My son's name is David-Michael. His initals are DM. It is also an injoke (unintentional I promise) as my husband and I and almost all of our friends play D&D. The person who controls the story is the DM.

Hence he is the littlest DM.