Everywhere seems to be the same thing:
I can't wait for 2009 to be over. 2009 was such a bad year, 2010 has to be better!
I don't agree. Ultimately the change of the year is just another day, an abertrary date. For some the change of the year has already occurred, and for others, it is still coming around.
Regardless, in this world, it does mean something. For me, 2009 has had some amazing ups, mostly involving the baby. It has also had some amazing downs, my grandmother dying, and the deterioration of my relationship.
The fact of the matter is that 2010 will continue this trend. While I hope to repair the relationship with my husband, I don't know if that will be possible, or even the best thing. The past few weeks has shown that he is selfish and self-centered. He reminds me a lot of his father, and I don't know any good way of telling him that. We are going to go to counseling.
But he isn't the only one. I have my flaws too.
2010 will mark some important milestones. Regardless of what happens with James and I, I will live on my own for the first time ever. For the first time I will be completely responsible. This scares me and excites me. The baby will start to walk. He is working on standing by himself right now and is getting closer to it every day.
Was 2009 a bad year? Yes. It wasn't the greatest, but you know, it wasn't the worse. I look forward to 2010, but ultimately tomorrow is just another Friday.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Birthday!
Today David-Michael, the littlest DM turns one.
A year ago I was in the hospital, with an epidural because I was in so much pain from the back labor.
A year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.
A year ago, I was worried he wasn't going to make it, as he was wisked away from me right after he was born, breathing poorly.
A year ago, my life changed forever, and I don't regret a moment of it.
Happy Birthday David-Michael!
A year ago I was in the hospital, with an epidural because I was in so much pain from the back labor.
A year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.
A year ago, I was worried he wasn't going to make it, as he was wisked away from me right after he was born, breathing poorly.
A year ago, my life changed forever, and I don't regret a moment of it.
Happy Birthday David-Michael!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Almost There
In 11 days, DM will be 1 year old.
Things with James are still at a low point. He acts as though I'm the only person who doesn't do anything. That everything is my fault. He finally took responsibility for failing a class.
I still haven't reconciled how I feel about what Brit did to my relationship with him, to how he feels about her and how I feel about Brit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully reconcile the differences.
The baby is growing. I wont' have an unofficial weight until tomorrow, and I won't have an official one until sometime in Jan. He still hasn't taken any steps that haven't been hanging on to something (or someone). He has stood for a few seconds here and there. He is back on nebulizer for wheezing. I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid somedays.
That's all for tonight. I'll try to update more often.
Things with James are still at a low point. He acts as though I'm the only person who doesn't do anything. That everything is my fault. He finally took responsibility for failing a class.
I still haven't reconciled how I feel about what Brit did to my relationship with him, to how he feels about her and how I feel about Brit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully reconcile the differences.
The baby is growing. I wont' have an unofficial weight until tomorrow, and I won't have an official one until sometime in Jan. He still hasn't taken any steps that haven't been hanging on to something (or someone). He has stood for a few seconds here and there. He is back on nebulizer for wheezing. I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid somedays.
That's all for tonight. I'll try to update more often.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Here it goes again....
The baby has pneumonia again.
We are on a nebulizor for the first time. DM hates it. It was a giant fight this afternoon that ended with me pinning DM's arms down.
We are also on Cleritan for the rest of the winter to try and stop this before it happens.
*Sighs*
We are on a nebulizor for the first time. DM hates it. It was a giant fight this afternoon that ended with me pinning DM's arms down.
We are also on Cleritan for the rest of the winter to try and stop this before it happens.
*Sighs*
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Daycare
I sometimes still feel guilty for putting him in Daycare, even while acknowledging that it is for the best.
It was worse before. The baby would cry when we got near Reeba's house. He would cry (generally) when we handed him over. When we picked him up, he'd be crying. He'd spend the next day or so (plus the rest of that day) being SUPER needed and clingy. Little things got to him and some of his enthusiasm waned. It made it all hard.
Then she let him go. Just like that. Because he was crying too much. Then she started to demanded money. We had to pay what we owed ASAP (which was understandable) but she called me THREE times in one day to ask where her money was...despite the fact that I had explained after the first call that James was in class ALL day and would drop it off when he was done...somewhere around four or five o'clock.
We scrambled to find a replacement. Reeba had a lot of advantages. It was close to the apartment (about 5 blocks), it was on a bus route, and she watched kids whenever. That is why we hadn't taken him out of daycare...yet (though we were going to give him another week before deciding what the next move was).
I called three places, two were on bus routes and close to my house (one was two blocks closer then Reeba's had been). The last one was near work and between two bus stops but not actually on a bus route.
Only the latter got back to me. Her name is Sarah. Do to a SNAFU, only James went to check her out. But we were more prepared this time. In the end, James approved.
Since then we've noticed a major change in David-Michael when he goes to day care. He is smiling and happy walking up to the door. He is happy when we pick him up (though there have been occasions when he fussed, it was much more the 'I see you mommy, pick me up NOW' fuss then the 'Get me out of here!' fuss). She feeds him and talks to him and holds him and lets him play. She has three kids, the youngest of which is 19 months old. He is her only daycare kid at the moment, unlike at Reeba's where she was probably violating the terms of her license regarding the amount of kids.
It isn't all perfect. It adds forty minutes of walking to any trip I have. It is in between two stops, so it requires walking two blocks either way. I got lost my first time going to pick him up. The weather is turning, so the extra forty minutes are going to start adding up. She also doesn't watch kids on weekends, which mean we are going to have to plan for that.
But that's it. So we like her and plan on keeping her.
It was worse before. The baby would cry when we got near Reeba's house. He would cry (generally) when we handed him over. When we picked him up, he'd be crying. He'd spend the next day or so (plus the rest of that day) being SUPER needed and clingy. Little things got to him and some of his enthusiasm waned. It made it all hard.
Then she let him go. Just like that. Because he was crying too much. Then she started to demanded money. We had to pay what we owed ASAP (which was understandable) but she called me THREE times in one day to ask where her money was...despite the fact that I had explained after the first call that James was in class ALL day and would drop it off when he was done...somewhere around four or five o'clock.
We scrambled to find a replacement. Reeba had a lot of advantages. It was close to the apartment (about 5 blocks), it was on a bus route, and she watched kids whenever. That is why we hadn't taken him out of daycare...yet (though we were going to give him another week before deciding what the next move was).
I called three places, two were on bus routes and close to my house (one was two blocks closer then Reeba's had been). The last one was near work and between two bus stops but not actually on a bus route.
Only the latter got back to me. Her name is Sarah. Do to a SNAFU, only James went to check her out. But we were more prepared this time. In the end, James approved.
Since then we've noticed a major change in David-Michael when he goes to day care. He is smiling and happy walking up to the door. He is happy when we pick him up (though there have been occasions when he fussed, it was much more the 'I see you mommy, pick me up NOW' fuss then the 'Get me out of here!' fuss). She feeds him and talks to him and holds him and lets him play. She has three kids, the youngest of which is 19 months old. He is her only daycare kid at the moment, unlike at Reeba's where she was probably violating the terms of her license regarding the amount of kids.
It isn't all perfect. It adds forty minutes of walking to any trip I have. It is in between two stops, so it requires walking two blocks either way. I got lost my first time going to pick him up. The weather is turning, so the extra forty minutes are going to start adding up. She also doesn't watch kids on weekends, which mean we are going to have to plan for that.
But that's it. So we like her and plan on keeping her.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Random Thoughts
First off, updates:
We did go to the zoo in DC. That was all we were able to see, but the baby was fabulous the entire time.
The baby also has four teeth.
I'm still at my terrible job. They want to change how long I'm able to pump...*AGAIN*. James is talking seriously about divorce, but I'm getting some therapy so I hope that we can start going to counseling again and working on US.
Next is just a work rant.
There is this issue that bothers me at work. It bothered me a bit before I went on leave and now just totally bothers me.
My store is like High School. There are a bunch of Cliques. One of the Cliques are the 'cool kids' aka the Drinkers.
This clique includes the Night Manager. He parties with people who work for him. He parties with UNDERAGE KIDS DRINKING.
I'm also starting to feel increasingly isolated at work. Maybe that's why they put me on UScan. So I'd be isolated. There isnt' anyone to chat with over there, and it is rare when I can get over to everyone else. The isolation is bothering me a lot. But I guess I feel isolated everywhere lately.
We did go to the zoo in DC. That was all we were able to see, but the baby was fabulous the entire time.
The baby also has four teeth.
I'm still at my terrible job. They want to change how long I'm able to pump...*AGAIN*. James is talking seriously about divorce, but I'm getting some therapy so I hope that we can start going to counseling again and working on US.
Next is just a work rant.
There is this issue that bothers me at work. It bothered me a bit before I went on leave and now just totally bothers me.
My store is like High School. There are a bunch of Cliques. One of the Cliques are the 'cool kids' aka the Drinkers.
This clique includes the Night Manager. He parties with people who work for him. He parties with UNDERAGE KIDS DRINKING.
I'm also starting to feel increasingly isolated at work. Maybe that's why they put me on UScan. So I'd be isolated. There isnt' anyone to chat with over there, and it is rare when I can get over to everyone else. The isolation is bothering me a lot. But I guess I feel isolated everywhere lately.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Flying!
We play Airplane with DM regularly. In fact Aunty is playing it with him as I type this. He enjoys the game.
Yesterday, he got to go on a real Airplane ride.
He was VERY VERY good. He was a lapbaby, and there was no room for Grandma's carseat (our carseat would have been a pain in the ass to transport). So he sat in my lap.
He enjoy it. No sleep for baby, but a lot of looking out the window and minimal fussing (just at the end when I was trying to get him to suck on something to help with the pressure change and he wasn't having it).
OTOH, we ate somthing that upest stomachs. We had two rounds of very loose poop (diarriah?) in the airport and then on the plane...before the seatbelt sign went off. >_< Two pairs of pants later and he finally stopped.
The way back is more problematic. We have a quick layover though thankfully no plane change. So twice up, and twice down. Hopefully it won't be a huge problem.
The airline did damage the carseat. Nothing serious was hurt, just the belt positioner for when it is a booster seat, but damage is damage. Mom was annoyed.
But now we are in DC and will probably hit up the Zoo today!
Yesterday, he got to go on a real Airplane ride.
He was VERY VERY good. He was a lapbaby, and there was no room for Grandma's carseat (our carseat would have been a pain in the ass to transport). So he sat in my lap.
He enjoy it. No sleep for baby, but a lot of looking out the window and minimal fussing (just at the end when I was trying to get him to suck on something to help with the pressure change and he wasn't having it).
OTOH, we ate somthing that upest stomachs. We had two rounds of very loose poop (diarriah?) in the airport and then on the plane...before the seatbelt sign went off. >_< Two pairs of pants later and he finally stopped.
The way back is more problematic. We have a quick layover though thankfully no plane change. So twice up, and twice down. Hopefully it won't be a huge problem.
The airline did damage the carseat. Nothing serious was hurt, just the belt positioner for when it is a booster seat, but damage is damage. Mom was annoyed.
But now we are in DC and will probably hit up the Zoo today!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Finally Better and Milestones!
After yet another trip to the doctor, and another round of antibiotics (plus prednesone) later, the baby recovered yesterday. He was still coughing a little and got snotty once or twice yesterday but today he has been fine. He also stopped wheezing and snoring.
But more then that, DM is on the move. A couple of days ago, he started to scooch around on his belly. It was funny to watch and I wish I had been paying enough attention to record it. But he'd kick with his legs while stretching his arms out to reach whatever object he was after. When he couldn't reach it, he'd kick again and then twist his upper body. So it was a crawl/roll thing.
Today he started the army man crawl. For those that don't know babies, that is when they move mostly with their legs but use their front arms to pull forward. Like army men do when on the ground (my mom called it commando style).
My mom is also convinced that by cosleeping, we are going to roll over on the baby. But then she thinks CIO is the best method. No one in this house thinks that and James and I are happy with our sleeping arrangement.
More later, for now it's bed.
But more then that, DM is on the move. A couple of days ago, he started to scooch around on his belly. It was funny to watch and I wish I had been paying enough attention to record it. But he'd kick with his legs while stretching his arms out to reach whatever object he was after. When he couldn't reach it, he'd kick again and then twist his upper body. So it was a crawl/roll thing.
Today he started the army man crawl. For those that don't know babies, that is when they move mostly with their legs but use their front arms to pull forward. Like army men do when on the ground (my mom called it commando style).
My mom is also convinced that by cosleeping, we are going to roll over on the baby. But then she thinks CIO is the best method. No one in this house thinks that and James and I are happy with our sleeping arrangement.
More later, for now it's bed.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sick...again
When DM was born, he had sepsis and a lung infection. He spent his first 16 hours of life under an O2 hood and the first 7 days hooked up to antibiotics (not long in the scheme of things, or even as long as my friend's preemie, but an eternity for us).
At 4 1/2 months old, he came down with the flu that turned into a minor case of Pneumonia. We had to give him breathing medicine but otherwise he didn't need to be hospitalized. Just monitored at home.
About 10 days ago, on our way home from GenCon, we noticed crusting in his Right eye. On Tuesday (a week ago) James took him to the doc. The doc said he had conjunctivitus, told us it was most likely viral but prescribed some antibiotic eye drops just in case.
We waited until Thursday, when it became clear it wasn't clearing up on its own, to start the drops.
On Monday I noticed his nose was running like a faucet. He was having some issues breathing, like just general conjestion issues, but as far as we could tell, hadn't spiked a fever. James opted to miss his first class today to watch DM rather then sending him to Daycare for the morning (DM was slotted to go for 90 minutes this morning and then 5 hours this afternoon).
It was a good thing. After taking a nap, James noticed the baby was burning up. Two tempture checks later (one under the arm and one rectal) he discovered the baby had a 102 degree fever. Jams picked me up from work at 3 and we went to the doc.
The doc pronounced him sick with sinusitius and an upper respitory infection. She told us to moderate his fever with Motron and give him antibiotics. She thinks that the infection of his eye might have spread or he might just have caught something (his two cousins are sick as well, with a similar thing, but he hasn't directally interacted with them since June).
Now he is back to being heavly feverish and lethargic. So I'm starting to worry. She said to keep an eye on both those things. I just gave him a dose of Motron and we are going to retake his temp in about 30 min. The lethargic, while normally a bad sign, is hard to tell at the moment. It is way passed his bed time so he could be lethargic because he is tired and sleeping, or because of the fever or because of something else or because of all three. >_< He did get enough energy to protest me sucking out his nose but not a whole lot more then that.
I hope it will be okay. I elevated his bed, and even though he only spends a portion of the night there, I hope it will help. We are about to go sit in a steamy bathroom while James showers.
More updates as needed.
At 4 1/2 months old, he came down with the flu that turned into a minor case of Pneumonia. We had to give him breathing medicine but otherwise he didn't need to be hospitalized. Just monitored at home.
About 10 days ago, on our way home from GenCon, we noticed crusting in his Right eye. On Tuesday (a week ago) James took him to the doc. The doc said he had conjunctivitus, told us it was most likely viral but prescribed some antibiotic eye drops just in case.
We waited until Thursday, when it became clear it wasn't clearing up on its own, to start the drops.
On Monday I noticed his nose was running like a faucet. He was having some issues breathing, like just general conjestion issues, but as far as we could tell, hadn't spiked a fever. James opted to miss his first class today to watch DM rather then sending him to Daycare for the morning (DM was slotted to go for 90 minutes this morning and then 5 hours this afternoon).
It was a good thing. After taking a nap, James noticed the baby was burning up. Two tempture checks later (one under the arm and one rectal) he discovered the baby had a 102 degree fever. Jams picked me up from work at 3 and we went to the doc.
The doc pronounced him sick with sinusitius and an upper respitory infection. She told us to moderate his fever with Motron and give him antibiotics. She thinks that the infection of his eye might have spread or he might just have caught something (his two cousins are sick as well, with a similar thing, but he hasn't directally interacted with them since June).
Now he is back to being heavly feverish and lethargic. So I'm starting to worry. She said to keep an eye on both those things. I just gave him a dose of Motron and we are going to retake his temp in about 30 min. The lethargic, while normally a bad sign, is hard to tell at the moment. It is way passed his bed time so he could be lethargic because he is tired and sleeping, or because of the fever or because of something else or because of all three. >_< He did get enough energy to protest me sucking out his nose but not a whole lot more then that.
I hope it will be okay. I elevated his bed, and even though he only spends a portion of the night there, I hope it will help. We are about to go sit in a steamy bathroom while James showers.
More updates as needed.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Life Updates
The baby continues his quest to moving on his own. He squirms mostly. But boy, that little boy talks up a racket.
He did really amazingly well at GenCon and slept through the Dealer hall. This is the boy that we had to walk around Romero's Macoroni Grill because it was too overstimulating. I guess it was the low hum of the noise rather then the sharp noise in resturants.
The baby also starts Day Care on Tuesday. I'm torn about it. In someways I feel like I can't be a good mother because I can't stay home and make sure I'm watching him. On the other hand, it is a homebased Daycare and I'm working to make sure we have things in our life. Plus Daycare isn't a terrible thing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my birthday is going to pass with a whimper. I don't know how I feel about that. My birthday is always a terrible day, and this year it is on a Tuesday. My mom is going to be out of town. My sister, myself (almost definataly), and James will be working. That weekend we go to MI on a trip I'm not 100% sure we can afford but it's for a Bat Mitzvah. I have three friends whose birthdays are this weekend. School starts Monday. My birthday gets lost in the shuffle, just like every year.
Last year I made a big deal out of my birthday. I had a party. 7 people came out of 2 dozen or so that I invited. I got a handful of happy birthdays from people on Facebook, but not nearly the number expected for 200 'friends'. I got maybe 10.
I just want to be remember on my birthday you know. Lately I just feel like I'm defined not as myself but as David-Michael's Mom or our friend with the baby. I want a day about me. But I guess I'm not going to get it. Not this year.
He did really amazingly well at GenCon and slept through the Dealer hall. This is the boy that we had to walk around Romero's Macoroni Grill because it was too overstimulating. I guess it was the low hum of the noise rather then the sharp noise in resturants.
The baby also starts Day Care on Tuesday. I'm torn about it. In someways I feel like I can't be a good mother because I can't stay home and make sure I'm watching him. On the other hand, it is a homebased Daycare and I'm working to make sure we have things in our life. Plus Daycare isn't a terrible thing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my birthday is going to pass with a whimper. I don't know how I feel about that. My birthday is always a terrible day, and this year it is on a Tuesday. My mom is going to be out of town. My sister, myself (almost definataly), and James will be working. That weekend we go to MI on a trip I'm not 100% sure we can afford but it's for a Bat Mitzvah. I have three friends whose birthdays are this weekend. School starts Monday. My birthday gets lost in the shuffle, just like every year.
Last year I made a big deal out of my birthday. I had a party. 7 people came out of 2 dozen or so that I invited. I got a handful of happy birthdays from people on Facebook, but not nearly the number expected for 200 'friends'. I got maybe 10.
I just want to be remember on my birthday you know. Lately I just feel like I'm defined not as myself but as David-Michael's Mom or our friend with the baby. I want a day about me. But I guess I'm not going to get it. Not this year.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Random Updates
I haven't really updated in a while.
Things are progression well with the baby. He now sits, on his own. He won't sit for very long and won't sit if there isn't anything to do but he can do. He is trying to pull up to sitting but hasn't quite got it yet.
He has also started to talk up a storm. Man, he really does take after me.
He has been slightly neglacted over the past few days, not in a terrible way, but our attentions have been elsewhere. See, it's time for GenCon and both James and I have LOTS of things to prep for it. So we've had to do the prep whenever we can.
However, he is getting 4 hours of dad time a day this weekend, and that's JUST with daddy. He is getting at least 4 hours of Mommy time too.
Got to finish up. We'll be back on Sunday.
Things are progression well with the baby. He now sits, on his own. He won't sit for very long and won't sit if there isn't anything to do but he can do. He is trying to pull up to sitting but hasn't quite got it yet.
He has also started to talk up a storm. Man, he really does take after me.
He has been slightly neglacted over the past few days, not in a terrible way, but our attentions have been elsewhere. See, it's time for GenCon and both James and I have LOTS of things to prep for it. So we've had to do the prep whenever we can.
However, he is getting 4 hours of dad time a day this weekend, and that's JUST with daddy. He is getting at least 4 hours of Mommy time too.
Got to finish up. We'll be back on Sunday.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Tooth!
When David-Michael turned 3 months old, we were expecting a tooth. He started the constant drooling. He was fussy. He was biting on EVERYTHING.
At 4 months, no tooth had appeared, and his doctor told us that now that we were starting solids and tooth should still appear. A bunch of what had occurred previously had lessened off.
At 5.5 months, we were starting to see signs that a tooth might actually be breaking through as a white line appeared on his lower gums and his upper canines had started to bulge and turned white.
Nothing happened. At 6 months I noticed about five little 'dots' on his gumline. This also seemed to indicate that teeth were coming.
Now at almost 7 months I can say that David-Michael has a tooth. It is very tiny and just a little bit of white is showing. The bump is lower then the rest of the bumps in his mouth. It is hard. It is not a front tooth, but the tooth in between the canines and the front teeth on his right side.
The picture is terrible quality as it was taken on my cell phone while the baby was trying to close his mouth and grab the phone.
So Yay! Toofer!
At 4 months, no tooth had appeared, and his doctor told us that now that we were starting solids and tooth should still appear. A bunch of what had occurred previously had lessened off.
At 5.5 months, we were starting to see signs that a tooth might actually be breaking through as a white line appeared on his lower gums and his upper canines had started to bulge and turned white.
Nothing happened. At 6 months I noticed about five little 'dots' on his gumline. This also seemed to indicate that teeth were coming.
Now at almost 7 months I can say that David-Michael has a tooth. It is very tiny and just a little bit of white is showing. The bump is lower then the rest of the bumps in his mouth. It is hard. It is not a front tooth, but the tooth in between the canines and the front teeth on his right side.
 |
| From David-Michael |
The picture is terrible quality as it was taken on my cell phone while the baby was trying to close his mouth and grab the phone.
So Yay! Toofer!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Family Reuion Update
The reunion went well. The baby did better then expected. He had a melt down an hour outside of where we were going, so despite a 45 minute stop, we just booked it. He also had a melt down in a restaurant that ended with James and I swapping walkign with him and eating.
The way back was a breeze, but we didn't leave until 4pm and didn't make it home till 2:30am. Baby slept except for when we stopped for dinner (at 6:30) and when we stopped to change drivers (at 11:30).
Everyone got along this year as well. And everyone loved the baby!
I expect to go to a funeral in a year as well. It will probably be my 91 year old grandmothers, but there is a chance it will be Libbi's. She isn't doing well, is delusional and is, apparently, a mean drunk who doesn't know when to quit.
On other news, John found a job so now we are scrambling to figure out baby sitting. Odds are that James is going to quit cause no place around here does Child Care at night or on weekends.
The baby is teething hard. Screaming fits almost every night. There was a giant red dot in his mouth yesterday so hopefully these teeth are coming through. He is still a rolly-polly little thing.
The way back was a breeze, but we didn't leave until 4pm and didn't make it home till 2:30am. Baby slept except for when we stopped for dinner (at 6:30) and when we stopped to change drivers (at 11:30).
Everyone got along this year as well. And everyone loved the baby!
I expect to go to a funeral in a year as well. It will probably be my 91 year old grandmothers, but there is a chance it will be Libbi's. She isn't doing well, is delusional and is, apparently, a mean drunk who doesn't know when to quit.
On other news, John found a job so now we are scrambling to figure out baby sitting. Odds are that James is going to quit cause no place around here does Child Care at night or on weekends.
The baby is teething hard. Screaming fits almost every night. There was a giant red dot in his mouth yesterday so hopefully these teeth are coming through. He is still a rolly-polly little thing.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Family Issues and Reunions
This week we go to a Family Reunion in Springfield, Missouri. We have done this almost every year since I was a baby. Bringing DM is really the reunion coming full circle. In fact he'll get to meet his Great-Grandmother. She won't remember him, but I plan to shoot a picture of the moment.
The rumor behind the reunion is that I was the catalyst. I was either just born or still in my mom's womb when my mom and Grammy (my dad's mom) got in a spat. This was a common theme. Regardless, Grammy realized she wouldn't get to see me so invited the whole family to her place for July 4th. Thus until last year, it was July 4th.
Last year the decision was made to move it due to work, and this year as well (though this year was more contentious and odds that it'll be back on the 4th next year). I am very worried about the trip. But first, lets understand the players:
The Uncles - My Uncles Harold and Stuart., my father's brothers. Harold is older, Stuart is younger.
Kara - My little sister, 4 year younger then me. She spent time with the baby in Washington Island and he seemed pretty okay with her.
Ariel - 4 months younger then me. My favorite cousin. She can't make it this year.
Peri - 3.5 years younger then me. The youngest of the 'older' cousin set. Married to Siece.
Mariah - 4 years younger then me, six weeks older then Kara. I like Mari and we've found more and more in common as of late. Has a long term boyfriend named Eric.
Libbi- 6 years younger and almost exactly 2 years younger then Mari. Libbi is a train wreck. She was pregnant a few years ago, but got an abortion. Currently engaged to a man at least my age if not older. She is worth a whole post herself. She is also, besides James, the only one still in school.
Brittany - Brit is 6 months younger then Libbi. She lived with us for a while but had to go back to Kansas due to personal issues. She is really good with the baby. She is a bit train wrecky but has been trying to improve her life. Brit is also the only second cousin that is worth mentioning.
Siece - Now to the bulk of the introductions. Siece is Peri's wife. Siece and Peri live in our Grammy's house. Siece is OCD and she has NEVER gotten alone with James. James likes pranks and Siece takes everything personally. James also likes to brag and decided to brag that we had sex in one of the shower (much to my shock, I'm close to my cousins but that was crossing a line). Siece freaked out, even when we (lying) told her it was a joke. Interestingly enough Mari doesn't get along with her either.
Anyway, I've only skipped out two or three years. Once was because of summer school. Once was the Wedding. See, I LOVE Peri. Siece I'm less sold on, but Peri loves Siece therefore I tried to make a show. But I found myself getting very paranoid and jelious.
When I got married to James, I asked two people from my family to be in my wedding: My sister and Ari. Ideally I would have asked all of them to stand up there, but I didn't and I didn't want to get into a 'why was X chosen and not me' situation. I chose Ari because I was, and still am, the closest with her.
But with Peri, everyone except for me and Mari were in the Wedding Party. Libbi (which, duh), Kara, Ari. Brit wasn't either, but for many a reason that was less of an issue. In addition, they made it on a terrible weekend.
When I was planning our wedding, I chose a weekend that was near enough to the reunion (which we skipped that year) so that people could easily go from Chicago to Springfield and make it there on the 4th. It was about a week beforehand.
They planned theirs for the weekend AFTER. The 4th was in the middle of the week and they chose a day that a LOT of people were trying to get married on. Personally it was a bad time. I had no job and it's always a lot of money. James was working but had been in the position for less then a year. Therefore we skipped. Mari skipped the wedding. She said she felt 'uncomfortable'.
Now I'm worried that Siece and I are about to butt heads again.
Last year, I was four and a half months pregnant. Just pregnant enough to be uncomfortable. Plus I was still suffering from bad heartburn (which didn't go away till delivery) and bad morning sickness. I was kind of limited on what I could eat, since a dozen different foods made me throw up, plus if I got too hungry I threw up (which seemed backwards and unfair to me).
Siece said she made plans but never actually double checked anything. After finding that the place she swore was open wasn't, it took 40 minutes to find another place. The place? Mexican Food which was off limits for me (which was sad cause I love it) as both previous times I had tried Mexican, including Taco Bell (which isn't) it came back up. I voiced my objection and was quickly ignored because 'well they can seat all of us, and we are hot and hungry.'
James and I went to Panara. I wound up getting a little sick from the sheer amount of time it took. After eating, we went to meet up with the group. We found out that the next planned activity wasn't going to occur until 4 (again, Siece had promised it would be open and it wasn't). The new activity was WINDOW SHOPPING and maybe Thrift store shopping. Right. Exactaly what the hot pregnant woman and her husband wanted to do! We went, with Brit, to see Hellboy 2.
When we arrived, at 4, just some other cousins (Rob and Nancy) were there. Not the people we went to hang out with. So we played a bunch of games, and were getting ready to leave when everyone showed up. By that point I decided a nap would be good and we went back to the house. We were told "Chedders at 7 for dinner!"
That sounded like a reservation to me, and we left the house only to get half way there and be told that no, we were going to Red Robin (which is very close to Chedders) because Chedders couldn't seat 14 people quickly. Um no. Most places can't. That's why you call ahead.
The rest of teh weekend didn't improve.
So I've decided that when I get down there, reservations are getting made because I'm not playing the 'wait 2 hours' or the 'moving around' game with a hungry infant. It seems like a bad set up. Ari was going to help me with this but found out late she couldn't come.
Siece is not going to be happy. I already can't get her to respond to emails/pms/chats/wall posts about the schedule. Anything else totally, but not that. So headbutting. But you do what you have to do with an infant.
This was a lot longer then expected.
The rumor behind the reunion is that I was the catalyst. I was either just born or still in my mom's womb when my mom and Grammy (my dad's mom) got in a spat. This was a common theme. Regardless, Grammy realized she wouldn't get to see me so invited the whole family to her place for July 4th. Thus until last year, it was July 4th.
Last year the decision was made to move it due to work, and this year as well (though this year was more contentious and odds that it'll be back on the 4th next year). I am very worried about the trip. But first, lets understand the players:
The Uncles - My Uncles Harold and Stuart., my father's brothers. Harold is older, Stuart is younger.
Kara - My little sister, 4 year younger then me. She spent time with the baby in Washington Island and he seemed pretty okay with her.
Ariel - 4 months younger then me. My favorite cousin. She can't make it this year.
Peri - 3.5 years younger then me. The youngest of the 'older' cousin set. Married to Siece.
Mariah - 4 years younger then me, six weeks older then Kara. I like Mari and we've found more and more in common as of late. Has a long term boyfriend named Eric.
Libbi- 6 years younger and almost exactly 2 years younger then Mari. Libbi is a train wreck. She was pregnant a few years ago, but got an abortion. Currently engaged to a man at least my age if not older. She is worth a whole post herself. She is also, besides James, the only one still in school.
Brittany - Brit is 6 months younger then Libbi. She lived with us for a while but had to go back to Kansas due to personal issues. She is really good with the baby. She is a bit train wrecky but has been trying to improve her life. Brit is also the only second cousin that is worth mentioning.
Siece - Now to the bulk of the introductions. Siece is Peri's wife. Siece and Peri live in our Grammy's house. Siece is OCD and she has NEVER gotten alone with James. James likes pranks and Siece takes everything personally. James also likes to brag and decided to brag that we had sex in one of the shower (much to my shock, I'm close to my cousins but that was crossing a line). Siece freaked out, even when we (lying) told her it was a joke. Interestingly enough Mari doesn't get along with her either.
Anyway, I've only skipped out two or three years. Once was because of summer school. Once was the Wedding. See, I LOVE Peri. Siece I'm less sold on, but Peri loves Siece therefore I tried to make a show. But I found myself getting very paranoid and jelious.
When I got married to James, I asked two people from my family to be in my wedding: My sister and Ari. Ideally I would have asked all of them to stand up there, but I didn't and I didn't want to get into a 'why was X chosen and not me' situation. I chose Ari because I was, and still am, the closest with her.
But with Peri, everyone except for me and Mari were in the Wedding Party. Libbi (which, duh), Kara, Ari. Brit wasn't either, but for many a reason that was less of an issue. In addition, they made it on a terrible weekend.
When I was planning our wedding, I chose a weekend that was near enough to the reunion (which we skipped that year) so that people could easily go from Chicago to Springfield and make it there on the 4th. It was about a week beforehand.
They planned theirs for the weekend AFTER. The 4th was in the middle of the week and they chose a day that a LOT of people were trying to get married on. Personally it was a bad time. I had no job and it's always a lot of money. James was working but had been in the position for less then a year. Therefore we skipped. Mari skipped the wedding. She said she felt 'uncomfortable'.
Now I'm worried that Siece and I are about to butt heads again.
Last year, I was four and a half months pregnant. Just pregnant enough to be uncomfortable. Plus I was still suffering from bad heartburn (which didn't go away till delivery) and bad morning sickness. I was kind of limited on what I could eat, since a dozen different foods made me throw up, plus if I got too hungry I threw up (which seemed backwards and unfair to me).
Siece said she made plans but never actually double checked anything. After finding that the place she swore was open wasn't, it took 40 minutes to find another place. The place? Mexican Food which was off limits for me (which was sad cause I love it) as both previous times I had tried Mexican, including Taco Bell (which isn't) it came back up. I voiced my objection and was quickly ignored because 'well they can seat all of us, and we are hot and hungry.'
James and I went to Panara. I wound up getting a little sick from the sheer amount of time it took. After eating, we went to meet up with the group. We found out that the next planned activity wasn't going to occur until 4 (again, Siece had promised it would be open and it wasn't). The new activity was WINDOW SHOPPING and maybe Thrift store shopping. Right. Exactaly what the hot pregnant woman and her husband wanted to do! We went, with Brit, to see Hellboy 2.
When we arrived, at 4, just some other cousins (Rob and Nancy) were there. Not the people we went to hang out with. So we played a bunch of games, and were getting ready to leave when everyone showed up. By that point I decided a nap would be good and we went back to the house. We were told "Chedders at 7 for dinner!"
That sounded like a reservation to me, and we left the house only to get half way there and be told that no, we were going to Red Robin (which is very close to Chedders) because Chedders couldn't seat 14 people quickly. Um no. Most places can't. That's why you call ahead.
The rest of teh weekend didn't improve.
So I've decided that when I get down there, reservations are getting made because I'm not playing the 'wait 2 hours' or the 'moving around' game with a hungry infant. It seems like a bad set up. Ari was going to help me with this but found out late she couldn't come.
Siece is not going to be happy. I already can't get her to respond to emails/pms/chats/wall posts about the schedule. Anything else totally, but not that. So headbutting. But you do what you have to do with an infant.
This was a lot longer then expected.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Rolly Polly Man
David-Michael is now on the go!
Until a few days ago, it was a fight to get him on his belly. He learned how to roll from his back to his front at about 3.5 months, and his front to his back at around 4 months. Since then, we'd put him on his belly and he'd just roll over to his back (in fact, that was how we found out he could). He'd roll on to his side, and he'd get halfway on his belly before deciding to roll back to his back.
He started the butt wave and the straining to move forward, but nothing happened.
Then all of the sudden, he stopped caring that he was on his belly and started to enjoy it somewhat. Now he just rolls EVERYWHERE. I've had to rescue him three times (and James once). One time because he was trying to eat a chip, one time because he got under the futon mattress and one time because he put his head through the diaper bag strap. James because he got into the area of the entertainment center with the PS2 and the TV above him (it is suppose to have a door, and the whole thing is shaped like an H. He got into that bottom section.)
When we get back from our trip, we are going to finish the haphazard job of baby proofing (done just enough to keep Linda at bay and about have of those changes stop as soon as she leaves).
We also notice he has a preference to roll on his right side. Not that he won't roll on his left, just that he prefers the right. Strange little boy.
Until a few days ago, it was a fight to get him on his belly. He learned how to roll from his back to his front at about 3.5 months, and his front to his back at around 4 months. Since then, we'd put him on his belly and he'd just roll over to his back (in fact, that was how we found out he could). He'd roll on to his side, and he'd get halfway on his belly before deciding to roll back to his back.
He started the butt wave and the straining to move forward, but nothing happened.
Then all of the sudden, he stopped caring that he was on his belly and started to enjoy it somewhat. Now he just rolls EVERYWHERE. I've had to rescue him three times (and James once). One time because he was trying to eat a chip, one time because he got under the futon mattress and one time because he put his head through the diaper bag strap. James because he got into the area of the entertainment center with the PS2 and the TV above him (it is suppose to have a door, and the whole thing is shaped like an H. He got into that bottom section.)
When we get back from our trip, we are going to finish the haphazard job of baby proofing (done just enough to keep Linda at bay and about have of those changes stop as soon as she leaves).
We also notice he has a preference to roll on his right side. Not that he won't roll on his left, just that he prefers the right. Strange little boy.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Doing Best For Our Kids?
A recent issue has me wondering, when you have two hard decisions, which one is the best for our kids?
Before jumping into the question at hand, I want to introduce John and Sue.
John and Sue had been together just shy of a year when Sue found out she was pregnant. For 7 1/2 months, Sue was so sick it was hard for her to get out of bed. She went on the medical card and had an uncaring doctor. After that point, she said she would have happily been pregnant for much longer. Despite having a wink-wink, nod-nod with her Deula about delivering at home, she was induced after going 9 days past her due date. She gave birth to a little girl they named Linda.
After Linda was born, Sue started to demand more of John's time. They lived together, but John was in school and working part time. She wouldn't do ANYTHING while John was gone, and complained that he was working too much.
Shortly after Linda's 7th birthday, he quit his job. Sue says that she was 'shocked' but both James and I believe that Sue pushed him (unconsciously) to it. John has not had a job since. They are living on food stamps and John's loans from school.
After Linda was born, Sue started to read alot. And she started to read about nutrition. Somewhere between the birth and when Linda turned a year old, she decided that they all needed to eat Organic. We live in an area that has been controlled by Monsanto. What organic you can find is expensive.
They have also refused to go onto TANF (the new welfare system). It has nothing to do with pride or anything that obvious. Oh no. John doesn't think it is worth his time. See, after the kid turns one, in order to get TANF you have to work X number of hours a week (20 I think). If you can't find a job TANF will employ you. Except when you figure out the math behind what you will get paid...well....it works out to about $2/hour. If I was in their shoes, I'd take it because some income is better then none (and I think it is more like 30+ hours a week that you work for TANF). But John keeps saying that it isn't worth it and he'll find something soon. It's going on seven months with him being unemployed. Sue won't get a real job. She'll volunteer at the local Co-Op (which gets them a discount) but she won't get a paying job. She just wants to stay at home.
They consistantly run out of money. John got kicked off the Food Stamps after Linda turned one because he wasn't working 20 hours a week. Sue got kicked off of WIC despite still Breastfeeding Linda. So in May, both their WIC and Food Stamps got significantly reduced. Sue has still insisted that they organic and now has started to be even more picky. More Boca, less Meat. Except Boca costs more.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
This is our family situation.
James goes to school full time and works full time. He pays for our Health Insurence. I also work very part time (between 10 and 21 hours/week). My job is driving me insane and, in all honesty, I can no longer say that if I don't get out of their soon I'm not going to hurt myself. James needs to quit as well to focus on school.
We dont' get food stamps. My meager income tips us over. We don't make ends meet, at least not if we want to eat, because we don't qualify for State Health Insurence (by $100) . We do get WIC which helps a lot. The baby qualifies for State Health Insurence, so as soon as James calls up benefits, we should start to have $200 more a month and then we can maybe make ends meet.
I want the best for my family. We all do. As such, I compromised with James. The *BIG* pesicide foods will be Organic. Anything going to the baby, with some exceptions (Squash and cereal, the latter which we generally don't feed him anyway, being the notable ones), will be organic. Nothing else will be. No major diat changes (except me trying to cook more) will be made until we have better income.
As much as I want to stay at home, I'd make a terrible stay at home parent. I've never been good at dishes and the like, and when I'm with the baby, I just want to be with the baby. I'm trying to get better at all of it.
James would like to stay home. And I think we've decided that he should quit, regardless of the job situation, in the fall. I'll have my stupid job (I'm trying to find another). We'll get Food Stamps and State Insurence. We might even qualify for TANF.
My work, however, is driving me crazy. I know they are trying to drive me out for taking my full 12 weeks of leave. I know they are trying to drive me out because I fought for my right to get my breaks long enough to pump. But it is costing me my sanity. If I quit, they win. I can't get anything in unemployment. I can't sue for FMLA violations if I quit.
And yet I do it because I think having an income and not worrying (as much) about money is MUCH better then making sure no pesticides ever come in contact with my baby. Because I understand that stablity is more important, esp at this age, then being worried about rent and electricity. I've been there on months that we haven't paid. It isn't worth it.
But I see her side to. The ability for one parent to always be home. To respond to the baby's needs as only a parent can. But I don't know if it is worth the food insecurity.
I don't think either of us are right. I don't know if there is a right. Both situations suck.
Before jumping into the question at hand, I want to introduce John and Sue.
John and Sue had been together just shy of a year when Sue found out she was pregnant. For 7 1/2 months, Sue was so sick it was hard for her to get out of bed. She went on the medical card and had an uncaring doctor. After that point, she said she would have happily been pregnant for much longer. Despite having a wink-wink, nod-nod with her Deula about delivering at home, she was induced after going 9 days past her due date. She gave birth to a little girl they named Linda.
After Linda was born, Sue started to demand more of John's time. They lived together, but John was in school and working part time. She wouldn't do ANYTHING while John was gone, and complained that he was working too much.
Shortly after Linda's 7th birthday, he quit his job. Sue says that she was 'shocked' but both James and I believe that Sue pushed him (unconsciously) to it. John has not had a job since. They are living on food stamps and John's loans from school.
After Linda was born, Sue started to read alot. And she started to read about nutrition. Somewhere between the birth and when Linda turned a year old, she decided that they all needed to eat Organic. We live in an area that has been controlled by Monsanto. What organic you can find is expensive.
They have also refused to go onto TANF (the new welfare system). It has nothing to do with pride or anything that obvious. Oh no. John doesn't think it is worth his time. See, after the kid turns one, in order to get TANF you have to work X number of hours a week (20 I think). If you can't find a job TANF will employ you. Except when you figure out the math behind what you will get paid...well....it works out to about $2/hour. If I was in their shoes, I'd take it because some income is better then none (and I think it is more like 30+ hours a week that you work for TANF). But John keeps saying that it isn't worth it and he'll find something soon. It's going on seven months with him being unemployed. Sue won't get a real job. She'll volunteer at the local Co-Op (which gets them a discount) but she won't get a paying job. She just wants to stay at home.
They consistantly run out of money. John got kicked off the Food Stamps after Linda turned one because he wasn't working 20 hours a week. Sue got kicked off of WIC despite still Breastfeeding Linda. So in May, both their WIC and Food Stamps got significantly reduced. Sue has still insisted that they organic and now has started to be even more picky. More Boca, less Meat. Except Boca costs more.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
This is our family situation.
James goes to school full time and works full time. He pays for our Health Insurence. I also work very part time (between 10 and 21 hours/week). My job is driving me insane and, in all honesty, I can no longer say that if I don't get out of their soon I'm not going to hurt myself. James needs to quit as well to focus on school.
We dont' get food stamps. My meager income tips us over. We don't make ends meet, at least not if we want to eat, because we don't qualify for State Health Insurence (by $100) . We do get WIC which helps a lot. The baby qualifies for State Health Insurence, so as soon as James calls up benefits, we should start to have $200 more a month and then we can maybe make ends meet.
I want the best for my family. We all do. As such, I compromised with James. The *BIG* pesicide foods will be Organic. Anything going to the baby, with some exceptions (Squash and cereal, the latter which we generally don't feed him anyway, being the notable ones), will be organic. Nothing else will be. No major diat changes (except me trying to cook more) will be made until we have better income.
As much as I want to stay at home, I'd make a terrible stay at home parent. I've never been good at dishes and the like, and when I'm with the baby, I just want to be with the baby. I'm trying to get better at all of it.
James would like to stay home. And I think we've decided that he should quit, regardless of the job situation, in the fall. I'll have my stupid job (I'm trying to find another). We'll get Food Stamps and State Insurence. We might even qualify for TANF.
My work, however, is driving me crazy. I know they are trying to drive me out for taking my full 12 weeks of leave. I know they are trying to drive me out because I fought for my right to get my breaks long enough to pump. But it is costing me my sanity. If I quit, they win. I can't get anything in unemployment. I can't sue for FMLA violations if I quit.
And yet I do it because I think having an income and not worrying (as much) about money is MUCH better then making sure no pesticides ever come in contact with my baby. Because I understand that stablity is more important, esp at this age, then being worried about rent and electricity. I've been there on months that we haven't paid. It isn't worth it.
But I see her side to. The ability for one parent to always be home. To respond to the baby's needs as only a parent can. But I don't know if it is worth the food insecurity.
I don't think either of us are right. I don't know if there is a right. Both situations suck.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
This Blog!
I guess this is the requeist introduction post.
Hi, My name is Alia but I go by either shadowkate or Red Firefox across the interwebnet. I've been blogging since the late 1990s and have been on LJ since 2002. So I have some experience at this sort of thing.
In April of 2008, we discovered that we were pregnant and in August discovered that we were pregnant with a little boy. On December 28th, 10 days shy of his due date, our little 'DM' came into the world after starting labor 24.5 hours prior. He was born sick and was in the Level 2 Nursery for a week, plus spent half that week in a billibox. I started to post about baby things to my LJ blog.
I realized that about half the people that read by LJ blog could care less about all the baby stuff, but I wanted a place to post it. Plus I wanted a place that was 'mine'. I worry about posting somethings on LJ. There are a lot of people who already think poorly of myself or my husband or the baby or any number of things that I might post on there. Isn't it sad when it feels like a Blog is no longer your 'safe space'.
So after much thought I decided to start a blog dedicated to three things:
1) The Baby. A place to post my thoughts on him, his milestones, and just what he has been up to.
2) The Family. All of our current trials and tribulations. Everything we are going through, no matter how it might turn out.
3) Other Touchy things. Things that I dont' want to post in my 'main' blog.
This means that there will be some raw emotion, some hate and anger, and I won't censor myself. Likewise, I might not apologize for it. I censor my other blog because, well, I know alot of those people. This blog is not meant for them. This blog is meant for the Internet as a nameless whole. But there will also be glee and wonder in this blog as well.
People in this blog:
*Myself
*David-Michael (also known as the Little One, Baby, DM or just David)
*My husband, James. We are dealing with some things at the moment, but that is a post in and of itself.
*Sue, John and Linda (not real names). Our good friends. Linda is 14 months old, and 8 months older then David. Sue and John are the only parents of a young baby that we know and we hang out all the time.
Last point. The name of this blog.
My son's name is David-Michael. His initals are DM. It is also an injoke (unintentional I promise) as my husband and I and almost all of our friends play D&D. The person who controls the story is the DM.
Hence he is the littlest DM.
Hi, My name is Alia but I go by either shadowkate or Red Firefox across the interwebnet. I've been blogging since the late 1990s and have been on LJ since 2002. So I have some experience at this sort of thing.
In April of 2008, we discovered that we were pregnant and in August discovered that we were pregnant with a little boy. On December 28th, 10 days shy of his due date, our little 'DM' came into the world after starting labor 24.5 hours prior. He was born sick and was in the Level 2 Nursery for a week, plus spent half that week in a billibox. I started to post about baby things to my LJ blog.
I realized that about half the people that read by LJ blog could care less about all the baby stuff, but I wanted a place to post it. Plus I wanted a place that was 'mine'. I worry about posting somethings on LJ. There are a lot of people who already think poorly of myself or my husband or the baby or any number of things that I might post on there. Isn't it sad when it feels like a Blog is no longer your 'safe space'.
So after much thought I decided to start a blog dedicated to three things:
1) The Baby. A place to post my thoughts on him, his milestones, and just what he has been up to.
2) The Family. All of our current trials and tribulations. Everything we are going through, no matter how it might turn out.
3) Other Touchy things. Things that I dont' want to post in my 'main' blog.
This means that there will be some raw emotion, some hate and anger, and I won't censor myself. Likewise, I might not apologize for it. I censor my other blog because, well, I know alot of those people. This blog is not meant for them. This blog is meant for the Internet as a nameless whole. But there will also be glee and wonder in this blog as well.
People in this blog:
*Myself
*David-Michael (also known as the Little One, Baby, DM or just David)
*My husband, James. We are dealing with some things at the moment, but that is a post in and of itself.
*Sue, John and Linda (not real names). Our good friends. Linda is 14 months old, and 8 months older then David. Sue and John are the only parents of a young baby that we know and we hang out all the time.
Last point. The name of this blog.
My son's name is David-Michael. His initals are DM. It is also an injoke (unintentional I promise) as my husband and I and almost all of our friends play D&D. The person who controls the story is the DM.
Hence he is the littlest DM.
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