Upset

The past 24 hours have been a nightmare.

First off, I got my drivers license. Then David and I drove about 45 minutes away to meet my new nephew Robert.

That is where the nightmare started. His mom, Nicole, my step-brother's fiancee had told me she was going to totally breastfeed. That she wanted as much advice as possible. Her board said that she was 'breastfeeding', but I snuck a look at the log to record how much he ate and all of it was formula. Then, when I asked, she told me that the doctors and the nurses told her to feed him formula first so 'he gets used to it'* when she goes back to work at least until her milk comes in.

Yeah fucking right. What nurse in their right mind would say such a thing?! None. That's who. Instead Nicole probably tried it once, found it painful, and the formula was RIGHT THERE. Then she'll probably tell me she had to stop because Robert couldn't latch. No shit. Bottles first make it super difficult to nurse.

On our way out of the hospital, I left David's sippy (he has another but it was the only one I brought with me for the trip) in the lobby. My step-brother retrieved it, but I couldn't go back in. The I lost the keys to the car. When I was putting David in his carseat, the keys fell out of my hands and wedged in between the back seat and the trunk. It took an hour to find them, and my sister had to crawl into the truck to get them back out.

David then cried for the next 15 minutes before falling fast asleep. He woke up just as I was dropping him off with his dad.

Apparently he cried on and off until this afternoon. James told me no more overnights.

So now I can't trust James to take him while I go to GenCon. Which hurts my soul that I can't trust David's father with him. But with all of the little incidents plus David being fussy for James about 50% of the time, I just can't.

But the final straw was when James told me he stuck David in the bedroom, closed the door and let him cry.

Ugh!

So now I'm super disappointed and sad. The time that I would have been at GenCon will now be spent at a lawyers office figuring out the best out come for a divorce.

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* - My cousin said nearly the same words in reference to David when he was about three months old. Despite frozen breastmilk, she decided to feed him formula. David rejected it after just a sip (though I would find out later, he willing took two bottles of a different brand) so she told me that I needed to feed him a bottle of formula a day to get him used to it.