Everywhere seems to be the same thing:
I can't wait for 2009 to be over. 2009 was such a bad year, 2010 has to be better!
I don't agree. Ultimately the change of the year is just another day, an abertrary date. For some the change of the year has already occurred, and for others, it is still coming around.
Regardless, in this world, it does mean something. For me, 2009 has had some amazing ups, mostly involving the baby. It has also had some amazing downs, my grandmother dying, and the deterioration of my relationship.
The fact of the matter is that 2010 will continue this trend. While I hope to repair the relationship with my husband, I don't know if that will be possible, or even the best thing. The past few weeks has shown that he is selfish and self-centered. He reminds me a lot of his father, and I don't know any good way of telling him that. We are going to go to counseling.
But he isn't the only one. I have my flaws too.
2010 will mark some important milestones. Regardless of what happens with James and I, I will live on my own for the first time ever. For the first time I will be completely responsible. This scares me and excites me. The baby will start to walk. He is working on standing by himself right now and is getting closer to it every day.
Was 2009 a bad year? Yes. It wasn't the greatest, but you know, it wasn't the worse. I look forward to 2010, but ultimately tomorrow is just another Friday.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Birthday!
Today David-Michael, the littlest DM turns one.
A year ago I was in the hospital, with an epidural because I was in so much pain from the back labor.
A year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.
A year ago, I was worried he wasn't going to make it, as he was wisked away from me right after he was born, breathing poorly.
A year ago, my life changed forever, and I don't regret a moment of it.
Happy Birthday David-Michael!
A year ago I was in the hospital, with an epidural because I was in so much pain from the back labor.
A year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.
A year ago, I was worried he wasn't going to make it, as he was wisked away from me right after he was born, breathing poorly.
A year ago, my life changed forever, and I don't regret a moment of it.
Happy Birthday David-Michael!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Almost There
In 11 days, DM will be 1 year old.
Things with James are still at a low point. He acts as though I'm the only person who doesn't do anything. That everything is my fault. He finally took responsibility for failing a class.
I still haven't reconciled how I feel about what Brit did to my relationship with him, to how he feels about her and how I feel about Brit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully reconcile the differences.
The baby is growing. I wont' have an unofficial weight until tomorrow, and I won't have an official one until sometime in Jan. He still hasn't taken any steps that haven't been hanging on to something (or someone). He has stood for a few seconds here and there. He is back on nebulizer for wheezing. I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid somedays.
That's all for tonight. I'll try to update more often.
Things with James are still at a low point. He acts as though I'm the only person who doesn't do anything. That everything is my fault. He finally took responsibility for failing a class.
I still haven't reconciled how I feel about what Brit did to my relationship with him, to how he feels about her and how I feel about Brit. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully reconcile the differences.
The baby is growing. I wont' have an unofficial weight until tomorrow, and I won't have an official one until sometime in Jan. He still hasn't taken any steps that haven't been hanging on to something (or someone). He has stood for a few seconds here and there. He is back on nebulizer for wheezing. I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid somedays.
That's all for tonight. I'll try to update more often.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
